Guilty Thoughts

Guilty thoughts

Empty faces sorround me

Silent voices speak to me

I know not where I am

Nor do I know where Im going

I feel no ground beneath me

I see no sky above me

My sun, my light, my warmth

He may be here

But I cannot remember his face

I cannot feel his hand within mine

or his kiss upon my lips

I long to be forgotten

I crave to be a memory

this pain is now in a past

that keeps invading my present

therefore my future

I shiver in the coldness of my thoughts

and scream what seems like whispers

that I never loved you

I never wanted you

You were not taken

You left!

You swore to hold me as I cried

And now I cry because you cannot

You promised to always listen 

But did you hear me

When I said I love you?

Well, now my heart is mine 

You had no right to take it from me

Tears of acid burn my cheeks

as I beg to have it back

Though I pray you will not do so

For all I am will mean nothing

If the love I gave to you

Does not forever stay

With the only one who will ever deserve it

I have no more tears for you

I cannot even hurt

for all feelings have left me

I think of you as a dream I once had

A dream of a prfect man

a perfect day

a dream that ends before it ends

I hated you

I still do

No one will ever know how much I ache

How many times I think of you in one day

How many dreams

I blame myself for ever believing you

for ever loving you

so now I say

that I never did!